All I want is thin. All I see is fat.

(via starlettas-flaws)
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  • 1 hour ago
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coolator:

No officer, you don’t understand! You put the gun in your hands, but you don’t pull the trigger. Why are you arresting me?? IT’S A METAPHOR!!!

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kansass:

lets play a game called are u bad at texting back or do u hate me

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  • 1 hour ago
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guy:

tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions

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  • 1 hour ago
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jpgay:

when u get to sit next to ur friend in class 

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bakadille:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

an artist is stranded on a desert island alone and decides to pass the time by drawing. less that a minute after they take out a sketchbook, one lone person washes up on the island and desperately says “oh my god you can draw can you draw me”

The artist now has food

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  • 1 hour ago
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auntytany:

lostbeasts:

i will forever be dumbfounded by the SHEER SIZES of some prehistoric animals i mean

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holy

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friggin

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shit

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i still think HORSES are big but

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would you

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just

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cOULD YOU IMAGINE

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FUCK

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  • 1 hour ago
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foodtrucker:

50,000 people on the Internet found my joke funny why aren’t you laughing mom

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They’re like, 12

The correct way to refer to anyone younger than you (via guy)
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  • 3 days ago
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and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

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  • 3 days ago
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lilyjanescollins:

if leo gets the oscar tumblr will break

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  • 3 days ago
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